Wednesday night I had coffee right before going to bed, which kept me up until 3AM. I spent those hours prior to slipping into a fitful slumber by trying to recall all my undergrad courses I had, and was surprised that I could only remember a handful. But at least I retained the information from the classes that I could remember.
Thursday the dogs slept in my room, and one of my dogs, Pepper, perpetually expelled flatus throughout the night in an obstreperous manner. That night while laying in bed, I was puzzled over the "crackling" noise I heard. Puzzled, until the smell hit me like a .45 slug and made my lungs sear in pain. The rest of the night she snore loudly and growled in her sleep.
Last night, some drunk driver ran over the mailbox at 3AM and uprooted a neighbor's tree. She and the guy she was with are fine, although her Honda is now a compact size and can never be driven again.
What will tonight bring? Will a satellite fall from the sky into my bedroom? Will a flashmob congregate outside my window and start a rave? Will my bed collapse and my mattress sink into itself like a black star? I have no idea, but I'm not looking forward to it. My life is starting to feel like that Seinfeld episode where Jerry switches apartments with Kramer because of a Kenny Roger's Roaster neon sign and begins hallucinating from lack of sleep that Kramer's ventriloquist dummy, Mr. Marbles, is alive.
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