Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Brian Uses the Force

On Saturday while Lara and Sarah were returning stuff and looking at clothes, Brian and I walked around Target and came upon a Darth Vader helmet that you could wear and it would actually modulate your voice and add in the hissing breathing sounds. Brian wondered what his job would be like at the IT center for State if he wore it:

Brian: [answers phone] ohhhhh...purrrr...ohhhh...purrrr. What is thy bidding, my master?
Client: Um, yes, this is Lucas Dale, I was having some sort of problem with my IP client and I was wondering what I should do to fix the server port.
Brian: Have you tried using the Force?
Client: The force? Oh, the Internet Engineering Task Force. No, I don't think they'd actually talk to me.
Brian: No, you weakling! The FORCE!
Client: Look, buddy, I've tried forcing my ethernet in and out and my link layer is working just fine. I'll just read you the script and error messages I get, ok?
Brian: I find your lack of faith disturbing.
Client: Yeah, well, sometimes the IT center just hires warm bodies, you know what I mean? Alright, my friend's going to email you the error that I keep getting, from the computer lab.
Brian: The computer lab? It's a front for the rebellion!
Client: Heck yeah it is! Internet censorship shouldn't exist at all, especially for China and Singapore. Once we manage to break down their firewalls, people will be able to read and view anything they want without government interference, the way the first amendment should be read!
Brian: You don't know the power of the dark side!
Client: No kidding, Singapore blocked the entire computerlab because they were able to trace the ISP number. Fortunately, that won't happen again.
Brian: Alert all commands. Calculate every possible destination along the last known trajectory.
Client: Are you saying it's a manual problem?...woah, wait a minute. You must be the guy running the entire resistance! And you're telling me to alert everyone to take a final stand against censorship!?...You kind of sound like my father. Who are you?!
Brian: Luke, *I* am your father!
Client: NOOOOOOO! Ohmigosh, that's so embarrassing! How could my own dad be working at the IT center and know more about computers than me?! I'm never going to be able to show my face again! [hangs up]
Brian: The Force was strong with that one. ohhhh...purrr....ohhhhh....purrr.
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