Friday, June 27, 2008

Nads Hair Removal (Slightly Salty)

Sometimes there are products whose names describe exactly what they are and how they function. Take the jawbreaker for example. I'm sure it was named because the person attempting to eat it busted his teeth out and cracked his mandible. If you see a car hurtling down the street and notice that the driver has a pair of pliers to make the car turn, you will aptly call it a deathtrap when the decrepit vehicle doesn't make a turn completely and explodes into a heap of metal. So while I was briefly watching TV over supper tonight, an ad came on for a women's hair removal product called "Nads." It's almost like the CMO scratched his or her head in thought, and just said, "To hell with it. We'll just call it nads, because 'ingrown hoo-ha hair' won't sell as well."
Oddly, a look at the website yields this information: "Simple and effective, Nads Natural Hair Removal Gel is perfect for legs, bikini line, underarms and arms." They don't have a disclaimer that "Nads works best on nads," yet they name their product after a shortened neologism.
That's deliberately misleading the public.
What's next? A Clear Eyes brand of toothpaste? Just in case you don't believe me, they have a website: http://www.nads.com And guess what? They don't even bother having having a url of "www.nadsproducts.com" or "www.nadshairbgone.com" It's just simply "nads"
But how would people explain that they use this product or even admit to it? At least I didn't write the commercial's script, because it would've have gone something like this:

Woman#1: Sheena, you have such smooth legs that have a healthy shine. What's your secret?
Woman#2: Glad you asked, Karen! I use nad's!
Woman#1: Nads?
Woman#2: Yep, nad's! You have to send away for it, and it comes in this special tube. All you have to do is squeeze some of the product out, apply and let dry, and the hair just washes away!
Woman#1: That sounds great! But what about unwanted facial hair? Do they make something for that?
Woman#2: Look no further than nad's facial wand! Soft and gentle, it'll get you the results that you want! If you desperately seek those "eye-catching eyebrows," then you simply must use nad's!
Woman#1: But what if nads are too hard on my skin? Are there moisturizing nads out there?
Woman#2: There are, Sheena! There's nad's sangria punch! It leaves your skin soft, smooth, and supple while removing your hair!
Woman#1: That is so fantastic, Karen! I think I'm going to try nads tonight! Can I find nads in my local cosmetic supply store?
Woman#2: Nad's isn't widely available yet, but they're working on it! Soon, nad's will be found in every beauty supply store!
Woman#1: Thanks, Sheena. I'm so glad we had this girl talk on nads!


See what I mean? It'd be hard to actually get actors to go through all of that with a straight face. As a matter of fact, something seems completely odd that "nads" would actually be used for product names, including a special "facial wand," a painful sounding nad's "sangria punch," and a nad's line for men. There's no way someone couldn't actually stop and point out to the company that they just successfully named their product after reproductive organs. But perhaps someone pushed for this name and is living out their little joke, and will still guffaw 40 years later when they hear two women gossip: "Nad's is the best hair removal product ever!"
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