Sunday, June 22, 2008

Interaction with the other gender of Homo Sapien

During brunch KK made a comment about traveling a lot, to which Lara replied that she'd like to marry someone rich so that she could do the same. KK then responded "Well, there are a lot of rich computer scientists who are lonely," with a grin. This is the scene I can only imagine between Lara and two grad students:

The setting is Sitterson Hall. There are two grad students sporting long hair. One of them is incredibly fat with rather obvious acne. The other is scrawny beyond belief. Lara walks in.
Lara: Hi, I was wondering if you men could help me with my laptop's wireless internet...
Johnson (the fat one): [with lisp] Omigod! Schnyder! It's a female!
Schnyder: [Garth voice from Wayne's World] Oh puh-LEASE Johnson. How can you be sure it's a female?
Johnson: She has long hair!
Schnyder: Johnson, we have long hair.
Johnson: She has protrusions coming from her chest! I've read about those!
Schnyder: Johnson, you've got the same protrusions coming from your chest!
Johnson: Well, what about her voice?
Schnyder: It sounds like yours-
Lara: Uh, well, I just needed someone to-
Schnyder: I'll take this one Johnson. Why hello young lady, perhaps I can be of assistance in your networking needs? I'm fully capable in Windows XP and Linux, but you should really use Linux because-
Johnson: Back off, Schnyder! You got to talk to the last female undergrad!
Schnyder: I hardly consider that talking, Johnson! All she wanted to talk about was the news and not the latest upgrade of Mozilla.
Lara: [to Johnson] Can you help me with my internet?
Johnson: Why of course you cute, young lady. Has anyone told you how your eyes appear to fall in the most glorious array of 450 nm wavelength of electromagnetic radiation?
Lara: Excuse ME?!
Schnyder: No, no, man! You're doing it all wrong! Let me show you! [to Lara] Hey, baby, you got the hots for me! Wanna go to my LAN gaming party that I'm hosting tonight?
Lara slaps Schnyder.
Schnyder: Aaagh! She demonstrated her negative answer through violence and it HURTS!
Johnson: That's because she didn't want to go to your World of Warcraft gaming party because she must know that you're only a level 38 wizard!
Schnyder: So what? I'm really good! I'm certianly better than you with your stupid Night-elf!
Johnson: *gasp* Take that, Schnyder!
Johnson slaps Schnyder
Schnyder: Ow!
Schnyder and Johnson proceed to slap each other.
Schnyder: Bill Gates lover!
Johnson: HTML hacker!
As Johnson and Schnyder continue slapping each other, Lara walks off, disgusted, and mutters "Men!"
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