Sunday, June 22, 2008

The Gentlemen's Club 2

Continuation of the Gentlemen's Club

So it was another night that I had to work. I clean up the apartment, make my bed for the first time in several months, and proceed to head out to the Gentlemen's Club. On the drive over, I was blasting rock music throughout my stereo and wondering what on earth was going to happen at the bar tonight. I couldn't help but wonder if Kevin, Bob, and Dan were going to be there again. As soon as that thought reached me, I also couldn't help but wonder what they would talk about tonight. My memory was still raw from meeting them Friday night.
I pulled into the parking lot and turn off my car. As I get my jacket out of my car, I can't help but notice several cars there already. I go into the club, past the smoking room, into the bar and behind the counter. I check and make sure that the gun they keep there behind the counter is loaded and clean. Something's going to happen tonight, I tell myself, and I want to be ready for it.
Kevin, Dan, and Bob then walk into the bar and start pointing at me as soon as their bifocals allow me to come into vision. I'm not sure if I could greet them by name yet, so I just wave at them.
Kevin: "Hand on fire, son?"
Me: "No, I was just waving hello to you guys."
All: "Guys?!"
Me: "Yeah. Guys. Like fellows."
Dan: "That's a 50's slang word. What else are you going to start doing? Slicking your hair back and wearing a leather jacket and listening to that rock and roll music?"
Bob: "Speaking of Rock and Roll, some hoodlum was in the parking lot blasting away that infernal music: 'We're not gonna take it!' Well, I'm not going to take it! I'm too old to have my hearing be destroyed by that horrible music!"
Me: "Well, it sure wasn't me who did that. I only listen to jazz."
Dan: "Good man! Good man! A round for you!"
Me: "I'm driving tonight"
Dan: "Well, a round for you tomorrow night!"
Me: "I'll be driving then too! I drive myself to work here everynight."
Dan: "Oh, well, pour yourself a drink from me when you get back to your home."
Me: "Gee, thanks."
Kevin: "Say, that reminds me that I'm awfully parched. It's all this exercise I've been getting today. A mint julep for me, son."
Me: "How about another gin and tonic? They still haven't gotten the mint juleps in yet, sir."
Kevin: "Oh. Well, alright, that sounds fine."
Bob: "I'll have a whiskey."
Dan: "I'll have a little rum."
I serve them the drinks.
Me: "So, Kevin, is it alright if I call you Kevin?"
Kevin: "It is not you whippersnapper! Call me sir!"
Me: "Yes sir. You say you've been getting some exercise today?"
Kevin: "Yep, son. That's right (pauses and takes a cigar out of his pocket and proceeds to light up). I've been getting back into training for the ring."
Dan: "Kevin used to be quite the boxer in his day. I'm sure you've heard of him. "Right Hooker" McGillicutty is what he was known as."
I laugh rather hard at the nickname.
Kevin: "What's so funny about my ring name, young man? Why, I bet I could tan your hide with my right hand tied down!"
Me: "HAHAHA! Come off it, sir! You're not much bigger than my fist!"
Bob and Dan: "Uh oh. Kevin, take it easy..."
Kevin: "Alright, young man! That does it! I'm having you in the ring with me next Saturday at 9! Your elders will be teaching you a thing or two about manners!"
Me: "Oh good Lord. I don't want to fight you, sir."
Kevin: "Well, I know you don't, son. If I were fighting myself I'd be as afraid as you are now."
Me: "I'm not afraid."
Kevin: "Then why's your arm shaking while you're pouring that bottle?"
Me: "I just lifted weights only an hour ago. I'm very sore."
Kevin: "Hah! You're just green, that's all. Saturday night at the downtown Rich's Gym at 9! I'm going to whup you! Gentlemen, let's move to the smoking room so I can formulate my strategy for showing this youngster a thing or two what "Right Hooker" can still do."
Bob and Dan: "Alright, Kevin. Son, you've made a pretty bad mistake. It was nice knowing you. See you Saturday!"
Me: "Yes, gentlemen. I'll see you Saturday. Have a goodnight."
All: "You too."
The rest of the night passes very peacefully and the other regulars come in for their drinks. I can barely see into the smoking room where the men go to enjoy cigars, but I see Kevin, er, "Right Hooker" shadowboxing. I have to hand it to the old man, he looks like he knows what he's doing, and he probably was a pretty good boxer at one time. I don't want to hurt the guy, I say, but I don't really think I could just throw the match, or else he might take the opportunity to really belt me. I close up and drive back home with my radio blasting again, get into the apartment, and sit down to a tall glass of juice when the phone rings.
Me: "Hello?"
Lady: "Hello, young man. This is Kevin's wife. I know he wants to fight you at the ringside, but I don't want my poor darling hurt. Not to mention all the men at the club are starting to run bets on you and Kevin. Do you think you could do me a small favor in exchange for my bet on my Kevin?"
Me: "You want me to throw the match?"
Kevin's Wife: "Why, yes! Kevin always did say you were a smart boy! Just until the third round if the poor darling can last that long. He has his heart into fighting you, and you can at least put up until then, right?"
Me: "Yes ma'am. Alright, I'll do it."
Kevin's Wife: "There's a good boy. I'll give you the money after the match."
Me: "Thank you. Have a goodnight!"
As I turn off the lights and slip into bed, I can't help but wonder what next Saturday is going to be like...
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