Sunday, November 2, 2008

Writing Exercise

My writing prompt from this website is:

Write a reflection or short fictional piece about this woman. Where is she? What year is it? What is she thinking? Try this in the form of an interior monologue.

Like I'm supposed to recognize some sort of raving lunatic socialist. Sheesh.

"Jana Ulrich was born to a mother and a father in the most natural way that was common to those bearing the Ulrich crest. She was born whilst her mother stood underneath a tub filled with hind's milk. This was done of course so that the baby would smell fresh for several weeks after being born, since Ulrich's produced a vast amount of sebaceous oil to keep their skin supple and moisturized. No mere silver spoon was slipped into her mouth at an early age, but of an 18 carat golden spoon which she swallowed when she threw her first tantrum. Upon her pubescence, she entered womanhood as all lady Ulrichs have: by having a visitation from Aunt Flo.

Aunt Flo was a wizened handsome woman from Bavaria who would explain all the niceties of being an Ulrich lady. How an Ulrich lady must excuse herself from the table, how she must discreetly pick her teeth, and how she must properly swoon if overcome with emotions. But most importantly, an Ulrich lady had to know the correct manner in the arrangement of flowers, for it was a large and rather ornate flower arrangement that saved a younger Aunt Flo when she attempted to slide down the banister and fell precipitously only to have her fall broken by wildflowers.

Jana dutifully undertook her studies and presented herself as an Ulrich lady when she adequately understood everything that was to be expected of her. Her flower arrangements were a success in all of Thuringen, and she was able to support herself solely on these arrangements. Her true fame began when she crossed several different strains of wildflowers into a new breed which featured double stamens and cross-eyed pistils that had an uncanny semblance to her own strabismus visage."
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