- Learn to fly. I tried to teach myself this morning by running across my room and flapping my arms like crazy. I fell down and hurt my back. Perhaps my arms didn't have the right angle of attack. But this just leads me to my next new year's resolution.
- Failure. I will not accept failure of any kind. Especially the non-advantageous type of failure.
- Scale Mount Everest. I will Scale Mount Everest while singing all the hits of Mel Torme. Without oxygen.
- Lectures. I'm seriously concerned about the lack of education in this country. So I'll stand on the street corners and recite free lectures for all the passersby about everything I know. They'll probably be really short.
- Art. I'll try to explore the subleties in the textures of concrete and debut in an art gallery somewhere.
- Performance Art. I'll scream at the top of my lungs for an hour while people pay me to do it. And they say there's no money in art!
- Advocate for Human Rights. But secretly I'll be spying on them for the Human Lefts.
- Brawling. I'll attempt to fight my way out of a wet paper bag this year.
- Pi. I'll learn all the digits of Pi out to a thousand places so I can recite it when I go to parties. I also plan on going home alone and crying into my pillow.
- Music. I plan on writing a symphony for a 300 piece orchestra. The only musical instruments will be pots, pans, forks, spoons, and blenders.
And there you have it. Look out world, here's the new me coming through!
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