Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Fond Memories of my RDC and CDI

This is an email I sent to my sister during OCS. I think it sums up the more memorable (and hilarious) moments of OCS:

Earlier this week we were doing lots of pushups and sprinting 400 meters
outside during drill, and our CDI said, "ALRIGHT, STOP!...Turn around. You see
that pump house or generator building or whatever the ---- it is?" "YES SIR!!"
"Shut up, dummies. You see that bush?" We watched the bush beside the pumphouse and some guy came out from behind it while his family was standing there. He'd had to piss and went behind the bushes. "THAT KIND OF ---- PISSES ME OFF!! It's one thing to go behind the bushes in secluded areas or where there's no head, but MY GOD to do it in front of your family is just disgusting! ALRIGHT GET BACK ON YOUR FACES!" "AYE, SIR! DOWN, AYE SIR! UP, AYE SIR!"

A little bit later during the week we were doing drill in the killzone right after PT, and there was a yellow "Caution: wet floor" sign outside one of the heads. One of
the class idiots was screwing everything up, and our CDI yelled, "HEY STUPID!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!""Uhh, I, uhhh, this candidate officer, uh, is not, was,
uhhhh, I mean-" "I? I?! AAAAAAAAAAAH!" and with that scream, the CDI took off at a full sprint, punted the yellow caution sign through the ceiling, breaking several
tiles. We're considering framing the pieces of tile and the broken sign as a
memoriam to the day our CDI lost it.

While we were preparing for our 6th week PI, our RDC dropped by to see our rehearsal. We got put on our faces because of our crappy dry run, and he made us put our anchors into an open tupperware container. "Geez," I thought, "there's no lid on that thing, I hope he doesn't throw that" but as soon as I thought those words, he hurled the tupperware down the p-way with an "AAAAAAAAH!" I think it was also during that time were we got RPTed by him while he drolly said, "Everybody say thank you, "THANK YOU SIR!" "Thank you" "THANK YOU SIR!"

And some other quick quotes from the week:
CDI: "Hey stupid! What are you doing?!" "MARCHING LIKE A PANSY SIR!" "WHAT?!"
"What's the sole purpose of the Navy?" "To kill people and blow shit up, sir!" "YES! EXACTLY! Blow shit up!"

RDC: "Officer Candidate, you don't have any personality, do you?" "No sir!" "Well, at least you're honest"
"So, your wife's pregnant? Congratulations. How far along is she?" "Hopefully more than 6 weeks sir!"
We also have two guys named Baker.
That makes for hilarious drill sessions with our CDI: "BAKER!" "AYE SIR!" "OTHER BAKER, STUPID!" "AYE SIR!" "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING?!?!" "YES SIR!" "THE STUPID BAKER, DUMMY!" "AYE SIR!"
"Sir, could the Class Drill Instructor watch Class 22-09 during our own drill practice?" "Watch? HELL YEAH I'll watch! Lemme go grab some popcorn and a soda! GET ON YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW!" "AYE SIR! DOWN, AYE SIR! UP, AYE SIR! DOWN, AYE SIR! UP, AYE SIR!"
And the other pressing matter that I have on my plate is that I was elected as the daince body for the Welcome Aboard for the new indoc class that has just come in. Can you imagine that? Not only do I get to make a jackass of myself in front of my class, I get to make a jackass of myself in front of the regiment which is about 120 people while the rest of the class sings a song they made up. Can you imagine that? I've got a feeling this is going to go down in the annals of OCS Legends: "Class
14-11, Ears!...On 14 JUN 2009, a young officer candidate started dancing during
a Welcome Aboard and the safety officer called an ambulance because he thought
the officer candidate was having a seizure. Order could not be restored until
three hours later. This is why we now recite poems for Welcome Aboard instead of
singing and dancing."

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